There is a good reason for not posting much to my blog over the last couple of weeks. My life has been completely turned on it's head, and I am still getting used to it. It's not quite over yes. As I speak, there is a huge storm brewing outside and it is turning the sky a weird yellow colour in it's wake. Good job I love a good storm, eh?
The main thing that has changed for me is that my mum and I are moving out of my family home, where we have been for the last 18 years. It is the only home I have ever really known, and we are not even moving out together - mum is getting her own flat and I am moving in with my dad. It's a weird situation. It's a change that I have been wanting to happen for quite a while now - something to shake me up (Ooooh the rain has just started outside... ooh thunder too!) and to give me a bit of extra motivation. But it is also leaving the place I feel most safe behind me - for someone who suffers with anxiety it is especially difficult, but more on that later. It's a weird jumble of emotions that I haven't quite sorted through myself yet. There's a lot of excitement there, sadness, worry. I get on well with my dad and his partner, and my new little bedroom is really gorgeous. At the moment we are at the stage where about 75% of my things are moved in, but enough things are at home to make me constantly lose things and moving between the two houses. Over the next few days, we will have to make a lot of trips again to get everything else over here, and hopefully once that is done and mum is completely settled too, things will become a lot easier.
In terms of anxiety, the move has taken its toll a bit. Adding a bit of stress will always challenge me, but I feel like a real turning point has been made over the last few months, and I'm able to deal with it a whole lot easier. It doesn't stop me from doing anything, and it just something niggling at the back of my mind that I have to tame like a lion now and again. For now, it's all about realising that this kind of strain will have an effect on everyone who is in the same situation as me, and that it is completely and utterly normal to feel stressed and anxious when you are in the middle of moving house.
Enough of the <woe is me> anyway, I am aware that I am so incredibly lucky, and I am still in a really good position. (sideways rain has just begun now - eee storms how I love thee).
I feel that recently my photography has really started to grow and develop. I can see more and more my style emerging, and I am creating photos that I am technically proud of. I'm getting more new commission work from people, and I am now running my own little photography business and sorting out my taxes and what not for everything. It's getting there, bit by bit. I think I just want to keep photographing now - anything and everything. I just want to practise and learn and create.
As well as running the little business, I am also looking for a full time / part time job or internship to supplement me and to keep my busy and learning. No such luck yet, being a new graduate and all, but I'm confident that something good will come up soon.
Thanks for sticking with this post guys :) More soon, you can bet on that.
All the best,
Watching: The 100 / Modern Family S4
Listening: All About the Bass - Meghan Trainor
Looking Forward To: Having a stable life.... whenever that will be!
Feeling: Tired and stressed, but optimistic